#54 – Fighting Fair: Setting Boundaries In Conflict


As human beings with trauma and triggers, fighting is inevitable. But how you fight can be the difference between learning from a situation and just stirring up old wounds. In this short episode, I’ll teach you the art of setting conflict boundaries so you can fight fair, every time.

In this episode you will hear:

  • How having no set rules for conflict can lead to messy, triggering situations (and how boundaries prevent fights from getting gnarly)
  • What to do when someone crosses a boundary you’ve set in place
  • How to honor the other person and yourself while you’re working out a disagreement
  • Why setting boundaries and enforcing boundaries are two totally different things
  • The role a neutral third party can play in conflict resolution (and when to use one)


Coaching Questions & Thoughts:

Have you ever set any conflict boundaries? If so, did you enforce them?

Is there a conflict boundary you often have trouble enforcing? Why?

When your conflicts go south, what happens? Do things get mean? Do you shut down? Get specific.

What is one or two conflict boundaries you’d like to set for future conflicts? What’s important to you when it comes to fighting fair?

Think about a recent conflict you had. How could the boundary you’ve chosen to set help resolve that situation?

Fun Quotes from the Show:

“We often have no rulebooks to subscribe to that help us manage those conflicts in a way that honors the other person and yourself while you’re working out a disagreement.” – Shereen Thor

“Boundaries are nothing if they are not enforced.” – Shereen Thor

“We got pain points from the past, and when they get pushed, we can pop off.” – Shereen Thor



Stop keeping up with the Jones’ and learn all the science-based tips I learned from Yale on what actually makes us happy! Download the free happiness cheat sheet at: www.awakentherebel.com.