#51 – 5 Steps To Making Triggers Beautiful


When you’re in the process of expanding and growing as a stellar human being trying to live out their purpose, you’re inevitably going to ruffle a few feathers. I’m a big believer that conflict is change just trying to come through. So Instead of rattling off an angry text message or shrinking down to make the other person feel better, listen to this episode to learn my five steps to productive conflict resolution.


In this episode you will hear:

  • What it means when you trigger someone and why it’s so confusing when you do
  • What you should (and shouldn’t) do when someone’s made up an inaccurate story about you inside their head
  • How to turn a triggering moment into a moment of healing
  • What co-dependent people need to look out for specifically when it comes to conflict resolution
  • Why you should seek to understand during conflict, but not assume full responsibility for it
  • My 5-Step Productive Conflict Resolution Process (including the ONE step almost everyone forgets to do)
  • How avoiding conflict will keep you from experiencing peace, happiness, and joy
  • And my favorite style of relationship therapy that I’ve used to heal many conflicts in my life


Coaching Questions & Thoughts:

  • Is there anyone in your life right now who might be triggered by you changing?
  • If so, how is that conflict showing up, and what could it be a call to heal?
  • In this conflict (or a past, recent conflict), did you allow yourself to speak authentically about how you were affected? If you didn’t, how would you now?
  • Have you ever experienced what it was like to “make it right” after a conflict was resolved? If so, what did that look like?
  • What are some ways you could close the loop on a current or recent conflict?


Fun Quotes from the Show:

“When somebody’s triggered, there’s not much reasoning to it.” – Shereen Thor

“When you’ve triggered someone, it’s likely triggering their past trauma. So they’re seeing you through the lens of their past trauma.” – Shereen Thor

“It’s always a good idea in conflict to seek to understand and to seek to listen.” – Shereen Thor

“If you do it right, triggers can be really beautiful because you can trigger healing.” – Shereen Thor

“When you cut yourself off from sad, you also cut yourself off from glad. They’re two sides of the same coin.” – Shereen Thor

“Things are not black and white. Things are not right and wrong. Things are more gray than we’d like to admit when you’re navigating through conflicts.” – Shereen Thor



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