#41 – Do Women Get to be Selfish?


Let me prep you for the insane rant you are about to witness (and hopefully enjoy lol).

In this week’s episode I discuss the Martyr Archetype. Women (especially after they become mothers) are viewed as selfish when they prioritize themselves and it’s disgusting.

Today I get kind of wild with my cuss words after hearing a friend refer to herself as a C word for establishing and holding her boundaries. She had a coffee date planned with a friend and wouldn’t cancel it when her partner expressed last minute distress (a woman with boundaries – oh the shame!).

You’ll also hear a story of when I was called a “narcissist” by a prominent woman in leadership for being enthusiastic about prioritizing my needs at an event in front of 400 other woman lol.

This energy of shaming women into martyrdom is disgusting and I gave myself the gift of having a gnarly rebel rant about it today. If you ever feel guilty for prioritizing your health and wellness as a woman, listen up because this rant’s for you sister! Enjoy!


In this episode you will hear:

  • How society holds women & mothers to an unrealistic standard
  • How guilt is so pervasive amongst women for choosing themselves.
  • How putting yourself last hurts you (and your family) long term
  • How sometimes empowerment means saying “no”
  • How life is meant to be lived and enjoyed on your terms
  • How some women have chosen not to prioritize themselves, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow their lead.


Coaching Questions & Thoughts:

Do you live life on your time making your own priorities?

What are some lies you believe about what it means for you to take time for yourself?

How do you feel when you put yourself last and don’t prioritize your needs?

What are ways you can start prioritizing yourself today? List 3 things you can focus on this coming week.

Fun Quotes worth pulling:

“Can we just acknowledge how insane it is that a woman feels like a selfish cunt if she says “no” and prioritizes her joy?”

“We are women. We are supposed to do it all, right? We’re supposed to look perfect, have the meals cooked, take care of the kids 24/7, not a need to inconvenience anyone else – and do it with a smile.”

“If being called a selfish cunt is what needs to happen to me for me to actually have a moment of joy and freedom away from my children, a moment of serenity overlooking the lake having a cappuccino with a girlfriend, I am here for it!”

“This life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. I often feel that, as people pleasers and as women, we live life but sort of on everyone else’s terms and make everyone else’s priorities our priorities.”

“I am calling into question the racist male patriarchy that even suggests a woman is a selfish cunt if she prioritizes her happiness.”

“I 100% rebel against and reject any system that makes a woman feel like a narcissist for being happy, prioritizing her needs and requiring her partner to show up for the family.”

“We as women have subscribed to a trash system.”

“This paradigm that makes women wrong for prioritizing their needs is so unhealthy. Please, please AWAKEN THE REBEL. Because sometimes when the system is fucked it’s real good to be bad.”



www.awakentherebel.com (Stop keeping up with the Jones’! Download the happiness cheat sheet – learn all the science-based tips I learned at Yale!)